Do you ever go to your fridge because you’re hungry, but once you open it you just stare inside and want none of it? You open your pantry but still nothing appeals to you. Maybe someone even comes and suggests something, and even though you don’t know what you want, you still know that everything they said isn’t right. So you just stand around confused and hungry for no reason.
That’s what it’s like to be an asexual with a sex drive.
yeah sorry I couldn’t hear you over the hour long rant my friends mom once delivered about how she really supported gay rights but couldn’t stand bi people while i sat in the backseat of her car nearly in tears because the parent of someone I loved was throwing hate speech at me.
yeah I can’t hear you over the minimal representation I receive in television which is usually just a sassy assistant making a remark about her “lesbian phase” and how in one of the most progressive queer shows that’s ever received critical acclaim the words ‘bi or pan’ are never used once.
yeah I can’t hear you over my ex calling me a slut after finding out I was bi and saying all I am is an indecisive whore.
i can’t fucking hear you over mono queer people mocking me and jeering at my desire for representation, calling me ‘not queer enough’, and ‘laughing hollowly’ over my attempts to explain my struggles as a bisexual woman.
yeah im sorry i can’t hear you over my friends long rant about how she didn’t think she could keep dating her bi boyfriend because he would probably cheat on her, and her eye rolls when i told her what she was saying was offensive.
sorry i couldn’t hear you over how fucking wrong and ignorant you are.
ESTP: super attractive physically but it’s all downhill from there. never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible. somehow still lovable.
ESTJ: loud, logical, and get shit done — they are the warrior class of the life rpg. power stats make them unbeatable and if you encounter one, maybe just curl up and forfeit, to save time.
ESFP: giggly little shits. fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away. great for lifting your mood, not that great at lifting your credit score.
ESFJ: too appropriate, totally lacking in awkwardness. they’ll never forget your birthday, which will make you feel like shit when you constantly forget theirs.
ENTP: excellent companions if you enjoy people who instantly see through all your shit. very clever and very intuitive, you can’t fool them. i suggest you invest in other friends — ones you *can* fool.
ENTJ: impatient with people who make mistakes, namely, everyone. they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead. cuddle them and see what happens. i’m curious.
ENFP: too puppy to live. best suited for the profession of musical nanny. not advised for use around an open flame.
ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.
ISTP: such butts. best suited for an apocalypse scenario, if no such scenario exists, they will create danger because they get bored. don’t encourage them, but don’t discourage them, as reverse psychology works too well.
ISTJ: low drama and low maintenance, best value at this price tier. best suited to actual human existence. least weird, which makes them kinda weird.
ISFP: squishy little darlings you might want to keep in your pocket, but please don’t or they will become forlorn. they notice everything, and it’s unnerving.
ISFJ: quietly and proudly do things for others. if you have a ring you need to deliver to mordor, take an ISFJ along with you for best results.
INTP: cute intergalactic spiders you want to hug and mistrust. prone to making you laugh but then days later you will wonder whether you were the butt of the joke.
INTJ: major dicks and kinda proud of it. prone to being right. prone to liking trance music way too much. all the ones i’ve ever met have been unexpectedly kinky. so i guess, expectedly.
INFP: they fall out of the sky and are raised by unicorns. if you feed one it will follow you home. they dissipate in water.
INFJ: chameleons appropriating your emotions and going quietly mad. prone to meltdowns and needing lots of naps.